Dear New You

Whether you like it or not you're going to come out of this changed…

As we emerge from our pandemic cocoons, some of us will unveil new & improved versions of ourselves. Some might need to tread longer in the baptismal waters of a contemplation phase. And an unfortunate few will suffer PTSD from the experience with resistance leading the way. And maybe for the first time friends and family might not be in alignment with you on this journey, eliminating those established lifelines you've always counted on.

When I try to quantify the blow of this pandemic to the well-known Kubler-Ross 5 Stages of Grief model, the covid experience doesn’t quite fit this mold because the final stage is not defined - it’s not over yet. Death and loss are excruciating. But death is a tangible fact of life, we understand the concept. The stealth sweep of an unexpected virus and the domino effect its havoc has wreaked on modern life is unprecedented. Swift-changing facts and morphing virility loosen our grasp in a slippery slope of one step forward two steps back. It's not quite tangible, there are no life jackets, there is no specific guidance. It’s so extremely personal that only we alone can measure the hit and the halt of its impact on our being. Essentially, how we’re going to come out at the other end of this.

DEAR NEW YOU: YOU'VE BEEN VALSLISTED

I’m not a psychologist but the tentacles of this have challenged us to our core. Whether you think it has or not, whether you’re doing just fine or using this time for reflection & renewal, it’s a reality check-in on our instincts, our reality and our morality. As I ponder the impact of this unprecedented period of vicissitude – both viral and civil - I delved a bit back into my high school psych studies of Sigmund Freud’s psychoanalytic theory: id, ego, and super-ego. They are three distinct, interacting agents of our personality that describe the activities and interactions of the mental life of a person. Simply stated, “The id is the set of uncoordinated instinctual desires. The super-ego plays the critical and moralizing role. And the ego is the organized, realistic agent that mediates, between the instinctual desires of the id and the critical super-ego. These are systems, not parts of the brain.” In the world’s current state these systems are firing on all cylinders, and for the brain to make any sense of it all it will need the help of the heart. That’s the one piece we can control.

Whether you’re doing fine, whether this pandemic is merely an inconvenience, or whether it’s got you thinking, or has utterly devastated you, the constant siege of ‘fight or flight’ will take its toll. Only you know your gut reaction to fear, worry, quarantine and uncertainty. They are fundamental and personal. And your reaction to them is too. Only you know your personal chemistry; that important balance between assumption + blame + rigidity vs. clarity + cooperation + flexibility.

Four months ago you were a different version than you are today. You may not look different, sound different or act different but you are changed. What you’ve witnessed is part of you now. What you do with that knowledge will affect the world greatly. 

This week’s playlist DEAR NEW YOU salutes each and every one of you on this planet earth. As you emerge and play a lead role on this historical stage called 2020 my wish is for a New You that’s healthy inside and out.  

(playlist) DEAR NEW YOU: YOU'VE BEEN VALSLISTED

PS: Did you know this playlist is part of a larger series? Please search for and follow VALSLIST on Spotify to enjoy more of the Heroes series, which celebrates everyday people doing extraordinary things.

In music,

Val